Here I sit, with the world’s largest scone and my apple juice, just like I used to order in the early days of coffee shops when I worked in Holland &
lived at frequented JP’s. I’m in Grand Rapids though and not working outside of my four walls but somehow coming to coffee shops alone always makes me feel like myself.
My mind is running like a freight train this morning. Thoughts of today and taking my dear friend Katie to her unexpected surgery on a broken bone in her wrist. Kind of nervous and realizing that my mom emotions are on high for this one. I also met my dear friend Allison’s second baby boy on Friday and I am again convinced that new life is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
Preparing my mind and my heart for another big May. This is a mainstay, something that keeps pumping through my head when I come to this point every year. In 2010 we spent much of May in Israel, which if you are new around here, you can read my series of reflections on the old blog. In 2011 our May is a bit obvious. We had a baby.
Now comes 2012, a month that I knew would be full of transition due to the fact that we are moving to Ann Arbor for Ryan’s internship the first of June, something that I still haven’t written much about. Here is the short story: we thought we might go to San Francisco for the summer all fall. A few weeks before Christmas we met a pastor from Grace Ann Arbor, at an event in Detroit, go figure. The weekend before Christmas we stayed at a Red Roof Inn and spent some major time exploring the city. Two weekends later, Ryan & I went back without Hannah to do more of the same. Conversations happened, it felt a little bit like dating. Are we interested? Are they interested? Both parties wanted to move forward and in a very short and condensed version, we are headed to the other side of the state for the summer.
All of that said, we like to take advantage of opportunities over here and I am in the midst of a decision about May that is causing me to give myself a whole lot of “be brave” talks like the one I gave Hannah a few months ago. Ryan has the opportunity to travel to Turkey, something we have always wanted for him. It is almost fully covered by a scholarship and it is with our friend Brad, who we had the joy of traveling to Israel with. Bottom line, Brad is an awesome teacher and friend and there is no one else I would rather have Ryan go with.
But in the other corner are my wife emotions and family emotions. How will I do this whole parent thing by myself for 12 days? How can we make Hannah’s first birthday the dream celebration I hope it to be with Ryan gone on her birthday?
At the end of the day, Ryan has all of these emotions as well but I am realizing that 1) it is ok to have mixed emotions and make decisions that seem hard 2) we can still celebrate our hearts out all month, making our girl’s birthday month a proclamation of God’s goodness in our lives. It might just mean parties on different dates and creating plans that are different than I thought. It will be ok. In fact, I am choosing to believe it will be good.
I will end with this quote from a book I am devouring right now. I got it Saturday and I am almost done with it, convinced that the words are giving me perspective in this time.
Introducing Bloom by Kelle Hampton:
(visit her blog here)
I’m underlining like crazy, finding solace in some of her words and this is one section that is sticking with me right now.
“I wouldn’t say my glass is always half full. There are days when it’s cracked and leacking, days when it’s chipped and even shattered. But then I get the Krazy Glue out and fix it, and suddenly it’s half full again. Even though it it’s patched up in places, I’ve made it my own with the beveled edges and beautiful etchings that perspective brings.”
With that, happy Monday and cheers to a glass half full.Read More