We’ve come to the end of the series and the only thoughts left to share are mine.
If you haven’t had a chance to read the other stories, I encourage you to go back and do so. We have so much to learn from one another. You can find them here:
Without further ado, here are my thoughts & a picture from our anniversary dinner on Thursday night.
When we got married, there was no Pintrest, no facebook & digital/lifestyle photography was just starting to break onto the scene. As much as I love all of that stuff, I’m so glad it wasn’t present for our wedding. It is already so easy for me to make small things into big things so I didn’t need to add any fuel to that fire. Even without the internet’s help we made lots of things by hand with the direction of my mom and the help of so many others. Those things are set aside as keepsakes but I don’t have pictures of the programs that she stayed up late printing for me, nor do I have any pictures on facebook tagged of our special day.
Regardless, we got married. We said our vows, we cut our cake and we celebrated with those who love us. The longer we have been married the more I recognize the fact that your wedding day is just that, a day, and what follows, a lifetime of marriage is where we spend our time doing the things that no one will comment on, like or re post.
It is within these moments, conversations and conflict that we have the chance to serve our spouse and the chance to grow. It is both exhilarating and painstaking at times to live with someone who is different than you are. Take Ryan & I. We are both two very different individuals who are trying to seek the same path together. Yet we find ourselves in unique friendships, conversations and many times, opposite ways of seeing things based on who we are.
As much as I give him a hard time for being too serious, I love the way Ryan thinks about life and is willing to take risks. Watching him has really taught me that anything worth having takes putting yourself out there, even if you are a little (or a lot) afraid. I’m reading Steve Job’s biography right now and there is a quote in there about people who change the world. Here is a portion of it that struck me:
Here’s to the crazy ones. The rebels. The troublemakers. The ones who see things differently. While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
You can find the full quote here.
The longer I have been married to Ryan, the more I realize that he is one of these people. God is using him to push His kingdom forward. I have seen pieces of us bleed into one another’s personalities and ideas, almost to the point that we aren’t sure where the beginning is and whose idea it was first. What is happening is that we are changing and growing, me to be more open to crazy ideas and him to be more steady.
The one thing that thought I would be most secure in my adult life was a plan. We don’t have one and I am more at peace in this place than I remember being with a set map. It surprises me and miffs me and the only thing that I can credit it to is God. This road is proving to be more interesting and fulfilling than any road map both in our marriage and in the direction we take our family.
Seven years ago, we were two twenty two-year olds, set out on a course we thought would take us in one direction. Here we are, in the middle of who knows where and more aware of true joy that I could have hoped. That is something that cannot be packaged, framed, pinned or planned for.
I’m ever so thankful for Ryan, for being willing to ask questions and suggest turns in the road that seem scary to me. The truth is, the more time you go down an unknown path, the more times you find something beautiful waiting for you.