weekend happenings & deep thoughts on purpose
Over the weekend we visited Uptown Kitchen’s grand opening on a spur of the moment decision. It was worth it for these cupcakes:
picture credit here
We also went to on Friday night to a Griffen’s Hockey game and decided that without the 90s night theme trivia, we may have been really bored. I took Saturday morning to go thrifting by myself and instead froze my hands off at an unexpected garage sale along the way for an hour. I used my best bartering skills and came away with a new dress (with tags) for myself, a blouse, a pink corduroy jacket for Hannah that I want to add some flair to and a new project all for under $5.
I am going to sand this two-in-one stool/chair down and repaint it white? pink? shabby chic? for Hananh’s birthday.
Saturday night included chinese food & leftover (little mermaid) birthday cake from katie’s birthday party and night with friends at the Gungor show at Calvin. Their show was truly an experience as they journied through their album with lyrics, poetry and art. In addition, we got introduced to a new band, their opening act The Brillance (Michael Gungor’s brother & band). Check them out here. More inspiring people who are living out their passion, their art and their dreams.
Sunday included Hannah’s first little Easter basket & dinner with old friends. A fun day which lead to an overly tired baby and a husband who woke up this morning feeling awful and sick to his stomach. They are both sleeping and have been much of the day. Which gives me a nice little quiet break and some time to read through some old journals. I have been doing that this week in effort to rediscover some of my own passions.
I see people like Don Miller & Gungor, both somewhat famous I know, but people just the same. People like my husband who are fully alive pouring themselves into their pursuit of life and wonder that should be for me in this season.
I haven’t taken up sewing, I still don’t like to cook much and while I love being a mother, I long to know what else I should be putting my days and energy towards. I am finding that in the first year of being a parent, you go through so many tranistions and changes about who you are in light of the little person in your family. I’m struggling sometimes to be ok with that. I really like my relationship with Hannah but I also know I need something more to focus my energy on.
Whether that be working part time, pursuing some sort of creative activity, honing in on my writing or something I don’t know yet, I want to figure it out. I hesitate to write about this ongoing struggle sometimes, fearful that I may appear ungrateful for how good I have it. Despite how joyful adding Hannah to our family has been, this feeling has been there since the beginning and won’t go away. The point I want to make is that life is a journey. We are constantly re-defining, growing, and learning who we are in light of where we are at and what our life looks like.
I know I won’t be in this season forever. Hannah will grow up and I will worry I spent too much time worry about what I was supposed to be doing/thinking/feeling in these little years. But at the same time, if I don’t figure out the answer to some of these questions, Hannah will grow up seeing her mom not fully using her gifts and dreams. And that would be a heavier regret. So the pursuit continues. I hope it does for you too.
Read Morestart where you are
First of all, Happy Friday. From me and from this cutie who is next to me while I am writing:
I’m about to reveal a helpful tip for revamping your life….ready for it?!
Start where you are. Take baby steps. One day at a time.
Let me unpack it for you. I used to run almost every morning in my former life. Pre-baby, pre-move to Grand Rapids, back when I worked in an office. I mean RUN, like multiple miles before the rest of the world had even woken up for the day. Those are fond times in my mind where I am proud of my discipline and drive.
So as I laid in bed for multiple mornings this winter trying to get from where I am now to where I was then with my mornings, I felt a bit overhwhelmed. Then it hit me. There are seasons where I have been able to jump start workout routines, intense commitments and activities. Now is not one of them. What I did realize (here is that juicy bit of wisdom), is that I could take a small step from where I am at.
For the past 9 days I have set my alarm for earlier than I have been used to and gotten out for a walk with the dog. No, it isn’t miles logged or Riverbank training but it is something. A step in a positive direction. I feel really good about it because my expectations are to take a step in the direction I want to go. Not to run 5 miles, not to train for a marathon but to walk around the block.
I mentioned last week that I was reading through the book 7 by Jen Hatmaker. Well I finished that one and proceeded to send out a mass email to some girlfriends with an invitation to discuss it. Because I feel like I could take some steps in a new direction with some of the challenges she discussed in the book. It’s easy to read things that excite us (me) and challenge us (me) and then to move on because we (I) don’t know what to do with them. So I am treating this with the same wisdom. Starting a non-profit or completely overhauling my lifestyle overnight. Not likely. Getting a group of women together to discuss ideas about changing the world, one small step at a time, that I can do.
Change happens in small incriments, a steady progression towards a goal. When you know where you are going, you can begin to move in that direction. Simple yes, easy to do, no.
What about you? Where have you been wanting to grow lately? Have you been able to take small steps in that direction? I would love to hear about any wisdom you have learned along the way.
Read MoreThoughtful: Falling
I came across this article by Donald Miller the other day and thought our friends would enjoy it. Here is an excerpt from it. I encourage you to read it, because I think you’ll find some great meaning within the antics of her child.
“If I were writing my fictional doctoral dissertation on Falling, somewhere in Volume 1, I would include this idea: If you can’t remember the last time you fell, that may mean you’re not taking on any new challenges. And in that case, after a while, perfection becomes a fraudulent trophy, don’t you think?”
Couldn’t agree more…time to go fail, I mean fall…same thing.
Read MoreIs it really a risk?
Last fall I emailed Tim Keller (probably the only person in the world who I would get speechless in front of) to come to Calvin Seminary to share some of his wisdom with us. I even included the fact that I would be more than willing to take him to dinner, my treat. A week later, I received a kind letter back with the answer I expected. Tim Keller is not coming to Calvin Seminary…yet. So was I devastated, hurt, confused, and crushed? ”No!” Who cares, I took a chance, and now I move on. I know some people think I’m crazy for even bothering to do these kinds of things, but when I share the adventures and opportunities I’ve had through asking, they no longer think I’m crazy.
I was at my friend’s house the other night and he flippantly mentioned that he had recently treated N.T. Wright to a craft beer. How did it happen you ask? He asked. People who take the risk of being rejected live a much more interesting life. I see so many unattractive partners married to attractive ones…why is this? Exactly.
Another one of my earthly heroes is coming to Calvin Seminary next week, and did I spend the time writing him and inviting him out for a beer? You bet I did. Eventually, someone will say yes, and then I’ll have another adventure to share. What is it that you may have thought about doing, someone you might want to ask out for coffee?…do it. Is it really a risk? The way I see it, no.
Read MoreThoughtful: To Be Content
My friend Wade is spending the year trying to “live his life as if it were the last one.” I really appreciate him and his openness to share his journey with others. He recently wrote the following in one of his blogs, and I found it rather thought-provoking:
“Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection (who lived from 1614-1691) was content with doing dishes at the Carmelite Monastery where he spent the better part of his life. His time in the priory (monastery) is often summed up in this way, “He spent almost all of the rest of his life within the walls of the priory, working in the kitchen for most of his life and as a repairer of sandals in his later years. Despite his lowly position in life and the priory, his character attracted many to him. He had a reputation for experiencing profound peace and visitors came to seek spiritual guidance from him.” In short, Brother Lawrence was content and his state of contentment and the character he developed from it drew others to him.”
I spend much of my time trying to figure out how God can work through me to change the world…In the past week, as contentment lingered, I found that in the day-to-day seemingly mundane things, he did. I pray that the contentment lingers longer.
His blog is here if you’d like to follow his journey.
Read MoreThoughtful: Ungrateful
We spent the last week at a church planting conference in Orlando, Fl. It was a great time to remind myself of the many reasons we chose this path. Like most of these types of things, I left on a high note ready and prepared to conquer the world, but came home on a low one realizing that years of classes must proceed this. I’ve told myself that I wouldn’t be fooled by these sorts of “highs” anymore, but I can’t help but feel unfulfilled coming back to a school and not a church plant. I’m trying to be grateful for the opportunity to attend a great seminary and I really am enjoying many of my classes. I’m trying to be grateful for this time in my life, without skipping ahead. I’m trying to convince myself that I’ll be better equipped and prepared if we just wait a couple years. But if I had to be honest, I feel like a lion in a zoo…I just want to get out and roam. Today, I really have nothing thoughtful to say. Today, I feel a bit ungrateful and I feel pretty crappy about being so. I desire my writing and interaction with people to be transparent, so here I am, the good with the bad.
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